I’m currently finishing a fantastic book called The Untethered Heart. Finishing a book is so bittersweet for me. I feel excited to have accomplished a book from cover to cover and yet I am either feeling the need to continue to read or not quite ready to let go of the story, whatever it may be.
The book showed me a lot regarding happiness.
Happiness:the word rolls off our tongue but if we really think about happiness we will realize it is a choice. During the “easy” days of endless joy, happiness is our friend. We laugh light, walk with a skip in our step, and make the right choices; those days happiness is an easy choice.
But we must give attention to the gloomy days which are also there. A traffic jam, a divorce, a death, and those moments they seem the farthest thing from what we call happy. But if instead of holding on tightly to what we think makes us happy and aligning ourselves for disappointment, we decided to drop all expectations… It could all glimmer; it could all be the happiness moment we wanted all the time.
See, as humans we design our life to hang on to what is “good.” But that goodness, that attachment to the comfortable, that fear of losing… That my friend is what brings you so much pain.
See, happiness is a choice. A choice to see all of it as good. To see all of it as just right. We must let go of pretenses, expectations, and the conceived notion of “good.” If your whole life you expect a partner to fulfill your desires and needs, you are setting your relationship up for pain. Death hurts when you expect all to live forever. Traffic jams are more awful when you fear getting home late… Do you catch my drift? Drop the expectation.
Live in the moment without precursors of what life and those in it should be. Take time to breathe and enjoy the subtle and remarkable parts of life when you let go of trying so hard to hold on.
Some days I feel ready for anything. Don’t you? Spilled coffee is something I can simply shake my head about and move along.. I may even laugh at the silly scenario. I could handle it all. I think of Dr. Seuss books and the message of you can do it! Is all going to be great! but he also mentions those times that aren’t so full of positive energy..
I sit in a moment that feels vulnerable. I cry for everything and everyone and I cry for no one but myself. I pour out an upheaval of mixed thoughts and don’t settle on any. In these moments we like to hide and get away. Maybe we will cry in the shower where no one sees.. Or we can drink a glass of wine.. Or phone a friend to get away and vacate the mind. But you will see, my friend, that none of this really brings about the solution to your vulnerable place, and many times when revisited it feels even more severe.. What then?
First and foremost, open your arms to the experience. Just as I sat down to journal, a cat in the house came and demanded my attention. I shushed him away but he persisted, asking for my hands, licking my face..even curling up the way cats like to do right on my chest. Instead of my original motion to push him away, I held him like a baby until he was ready to move along..
This is what we must do with ourselves. When the good comes along, so enjoy it. Soak it up, find the light, bask In the lightness. When your dark cloud rolls in (whether you know what it is or not) , can you embrace it? It sounds simple but all our lives we choose to run. And until we start really looking at it with sincere care and love, it will persist, just like my dear friend the cat.
It may start with just one moment in your day today.. A moment that you wanted to go better.. Maybe a moment that just doest feel good.. Can you be open for it? It all will pass and I can promise you that.. So see it out. It has a reason. Stay genuine.