Brief thought

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I’m not really sure why I haven’t written lately. Sometimes I think you’re supposed to have something really brilliant and moving in order to write but that isn’t true.

I meet my keyboard again. Light snow falls from the sky today and the simple pleasure of a couch and a kitty keep me company while I finish some laundry up at my moms.

Had a beautiful breakfast with my sister this morning and am really blessed to have a person in my life who listens. We got to talking and in the middle of the conversation she said, ” Hal, look at our body language. ” we were mirroring each other. I thought it was the darnedest thing. According to her, the deeper the connection in conversation the more likely you are to mirror the other person. It is a sign or unification and real listening.

As moments turn into lifetimes and lifetimes turn into evolution of life, let us try to see the beauty that surrounds us in our everydays. Breath and friends. Conversation and breakfast. Birds and kitties. It sounds like I’m writing a bad melodrama. But in all seriousness, we forget to soak up the moment in the moment. Instead we look back fondly.

Life is simple if we let it be.

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Don’t try so hard to hold on

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I’m currently finishing a fantastic book called The Untethered Heart. Finishing a book is so bittersweet for me. I feel excited to have accomplished a book from cover to cover and yet I am either feeling the need to continue to read or not quite ready to let go of the story, whatever it may be.

The book showed me a lot regarding happiness.

Happiness:the word rolls off our tongue but if we really think about happiness we will realize it is a choice. During the “easy” days of endless joy, happiness is our friend. We laugh light, walk with a skip in our step, and make the right choices; those days happiness is an easy choice.

But we must give attention to the gloomy days which are also there. A traffic jam, a divorce, a death, and those moments they seem the farthest thing from what we call happy. But if instead of holding on tightly to what we think makes us happy and aligning ourselves for disappointment, we decided to drop all expectations… It could all glimmer; it could all be the happiness moment we wanted all the time.

See, as humans we design our life to hang on to what is “good.” But that goodness, that attachment to the comfortable, that fear of losing… That my friend is what brings you so much pain.

See, happiness is a choice. A choice to see all of it as good. To see all of it as just right. We must let go of pretenses, expectations, and the conceived notion of “good.” If your whole life you expect a partner to fulfill your desires and needs, you are setting your relationship up for pain. Death hurts when you expect all to live forever. Traffic jams are more awful when you fear getting home late… Do you catch my drift? Drop the expectation.

Live in the moment without precursors of what life and those in it should be. Take time to breathe and enjoy the subtle and remarkable parts of life when you let go of trying so hard to hold on.

The voice inside

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An excerpt from a fantastic book: The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer

 

There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind- you are the one who hears it. If you dont understand this, you will try to figure which of the many things the voice says is really you. People go through so many changes in the name of “trying to find myself.” They want to discover which of these voices, which is these aspects of personality, is who they really are. The answer is simple: none of them.

Take a moment to examine the difference between your experience of the outside world and your interactions with the mental world.

You will come to see that the mind talks all the time because you gave it a job to do. You use it as protection, a form of defense. Ultimately it makes you feel more secure.

True personal growth is about transcending the part of you that is not okay and needs protections. This is done by continually remembering that you are the one inside that notices the voice talking. That is the way out. It is a doorway to the depths of your being. To be aware that you are watching the voice talk is to stand on the threshold of a fantatsic inner journey.

 

 

Begin again

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A new year. A fresh start. We write down our resolutions and promise ourselves that this year is the year. Statistically, many will lose sight of their goal(s) within the first two months of the year. I am not wishing this nor am I really offering it as a bad or good thing… it is simply a number that has been calculated.

Could we though, see it differently? What if we considered every day to be a “new year,” another time to try maintain a resolution? What if every moment ,every breath was an opportunity to be better?

I have been hard on myself for past indulgences… an indulgence on relaxation time instead of workout time… having too much fun on a night out and serving the consequences for it.. and some of my resolutions are in regards to these indulgences. But the change in my goals will reside in my ability to try again when I fail. We all will fail in our lives. We may fail in small ways, or big ways. We may fail people we love or we may fail our driving exam. The success lies in our ability to try, try again.

We are humans. We make mistakes. We screw up and sometimes we screw up more than once. The beauty of life is that the opportunity is available for you to try it differently.

And the really exciting thing is you can go in a new direction every breath! Need not wait until the new year. Don’t work so hard for two months and then call it quits. Try, try again. The opportunity is waiting for you to be better and do better. And each moment is a moment to practice in being better.

 

The Happiest of Happy New  Year to you and your loved ones.

 

Heart

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Recently I wrote and had lots of questions about what it means to love and be in love. And last night, speaking to a dear friend of mine, we got into the conversation of relationships… and in the conversation some ideas blossomed that I feel compelled to share.

As you grow up, you have a picture in your head of what your mate will be like. It may be phsyical, or the career path he/she will lead, perhaps some key character traits… and eventually this template, this mold, this… limited thought is created. It’s limited because now you have made something that someone can’t and shouldn’t fit. It’s limited because it’s only a small part of the experience of being in a relationship. It’s limited because it’s already making a decision without ever asking your heart.

Your heart and head aren’t always on the same page… and what you’ll find is your heart is always right, but your head works hard to challenge it.

I am wonderfully appreciative of the person in my life that doesn’t fit the mold. I see him as someone that has taught me this incredibly important lesson. My heart knows that he is gentle, and authentic. He is caring, and sensitive. He is stubborn and still willing to grow. He is imaginative and thorough. He is handsome and witty. He is real and always changing. This isn’t in my head, this is the feeling in my heart. See? It’s different.

When people say “I knew he/she was the one as soon as I met him/her,” to me it says you let your head lead and not your heart. Because what you find out in your heart comes from unraveling this dynamic and complex person. It takes time and experience. It never stops being exciting because this person experiments with life’s challenges and seeks growth.

Find appreciation for the time spent with this person. The moments collect. Some incredible, heart-racing, relaxed, unsure, scary, beautiful, difficult moments all come together and challenge your mind back. Your heart will win if you let it.

See your partner from your heart. See your friends from your heart. See your family from your heart. Live your life from the heart. Don’t make a decision in your mind. It’s a ploy, it’s a detour, it’s a cycle of analytical and ration. Oh Dear, your heart is much more exciting than that.

Be “good”

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Believe that people are basically good: Because they are.

With that being said, people have choices. One of the most important choices in life is perspective. Are you going to see the good or are you going to see what’s difficult?

Most days I try to see the good. The good in the experience, the good in the person, the good in the circumstance. Have I had days where I could only see the struggle? Absolutely. Are there times in my day when I notice struggle and redirect? Yes. But I choose to believe that in an overall way… life is good and people are good.

Life is so much richer and so much more full when you turn the lens to positive. Just today I was feeling lethargic, and my lesson was a bit dry… The student’s were bored, heck, I was bored.. pronouns can’t be exciting for 2 whole weeks… But during my lunch period I decided to go into another classroom. I sat at a round table with a student who is severly delayed. A beautiful human being with challenges to choose the right word, challenges to articulate needs.. and it woke me from the struggle perspective. We sat side by side, both of us with our own struggles, and found joy in eachother.

We all have struggle. The question isn’t about having struggle, it’s about how you choose to look at that challenge. Everyday can’t be your best, understand that.. give yourself the moment to let whatever it is.. go and with begin again, in a new way.. a way to see the good.

Our struggles differ and we compare ourselves or our battles with anothers: you are uniquely creating and manifesting this life. Be willing to gently look at your struggles, without judgement. But remind yourself that there is good. These hurdles, or negative feelings.. they have a reason… and the good will eventually seep through. You will find the sparkle. You deserve the good. You deserve to live life in a way that is enriching, that is enlightening, that is inspiring… You are a human being that is inherently good. Make the choice to live “good.”

 

 

Risk feeling alive

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Don’t let life get stagnant. Going through the motions is no way to live.

If you look around and life looks comfortable, I will dare you to take a risk. Risk looking vulnerable; risk doing something that makes you feel weird… Risk it because in risking, we grow, and in growing we live.

Talking with a sister of mine, she mentioned just needing a minute, wanting a breath, to reset and get the feeling back, but as I sit longer with the idea of what life is, the moments I have felt most alive have been the times I was willing to do something that made me incredibly uncomfortable.

It doesn’t need to be a world changing event. For some it may be as simple as choosing a different loaf of bread to make sammy’s with… Maybe going to a new restaurant.. Or joining a new club, reading a different genre- but when we risk failure, when we risk being disappointed… We learn what it means to be alive.

In our days we may find patterns. We wake up at the same time each morning, we drive the same roads, we say the same things, we may even forget what our days are complied of because they all blur together like headlights in traffic. But we can challenge life’s habitual ways. We can encourage ourselves to take the leap and risk, which isn’t common for us.

Lets break out and really live. Lets ask ourselves to continue growth, to continue risks, to continue to fail… Because you’ll eventually reflect on your life’s endeavors.. Those moments that collect so quickly into a lifetime… And you’ll remember the times when you felt so alive.

Jump out of a plane, try coffee black, volunteer downtown, mingle with a group of people you normally wouldn’t, go to the movies alone, stop and get lost in a painting at the art museum, try on some funky shoes, smile at every person you see, go bowling, risk feeling weird.. And then smile at yourself and remember that it’s all about feeling alive- there is no time like the present moment. So go along now; I can hardly contain my excitement for you!