Monthly Archives: March 2013

Who you were

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Nostalgia

Brings you back to a place a moment in your life. Whether a time of great joy, or difficulty, sorrow, or excitement… Nostalgia seems to serve as a reminder to live in our moment now.

I came home to grab some clothes for this fresh Spring season and found myself in the storage upstairs. I leafed through old notebooks, pictures, clothing and moments. Each bringing a different feeling back into my body. memories and times..

I don’t believe it’s fair to live in past. Nor is it fair to hold someone else there. We all move along in our lives. But revisiting it at times feel comforting. It feels known, it feels predictable. And so sometimes we get caught in our old ways because they are easy.

When you find yourself there, in a past moment, perhaps a past life, give yourself the freedom to feel those feelings, but then remind yourself of the great beauty you are now. To keep yourself in a place that once was does not serve you. We are evolving beings of great depth. We have endless potential to create more in our lives. Visit your past, love it for what it was, but don’t carry that burden with you forward.

Now can feel light too! Now can feel joyous, challenging, enriching, and full of love. Spring is here. See old layers, appreciate them for their guidance and then let it go.

Pictures, memories, moments, are a beautiful part of who you once WERE. But you ARE even more beautiful today. And tomorrow, and on.

Happy spring!

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Make no judgment

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People often say that you hurt the one you love the most. Maybe it’s because we are so very critical of them. We expect them to be the very best version, not to stray, not to falter. I too, am this way. My family and boyfriend are under the largest and clearest microscope.

This is not intended to hurt them or place judgment but it is to make them better people. I want to be clear to myself it is because I know they are wonderful people, and faltering means struggling. I think ultimately I don’t want them hurt, and so in being critical, I place no room for error.. Then they can’t possibly fail. But in doing this, I tend to suck the juiciness of living out of the friendship. I overanalayze. I make what is supposed to be light and easy feel at times, difficult and muddy. So as my previous journal entry explains, I will not wallow. But I will certainly re-steer my ways. So starting today, my conscious effort is placed on allowing people to be themselves with whole hearts. These people are in my life because they are so utterly wonderful, these people are in my life because I am so lucky.

So moving forward, without judgment, without criticism, we carry on in these lives. With pure love. And deep appreciation for being exactly where you are.

Welcome all thought

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This morning I woke up from a dreaming cycle. I decided to listen to the 21 day meditation from Deepak Chopra and try to focus my day. 

I am feeling quite sensitive the past few days. I have cried often and at times couldn’t identify the emotion the tears were bringing to the surface. It felt unsure, confused, and perhaps that’s where I am. And it’s okay. 

The message in the meditation centered around being in your present moment. My mind has been running circles and creating monstrous thoughts. I have tried to suppress these feelings because in society, (according to my thought) they are considered wrong, even mean. But, what if instead when you thought something or drempt something, or felt something that felt “wrong” you embraced it as another thought… Instead of feeling fearful you welcomed it. Instead of labeling it as a “big decision” or feeling the burden of life.. You saw it as a moment you thought differently, and you didn’t react with big movement, or decisively… Instead just unraveled it and let it sit. 

So much of our life we don’t do things, or try, because of the fear. We make something small, big. We make a feeling, a lifetime. And it need not be. 

So when you feel heavy, my darlings, when it feels like your thoughts have taken over your mind, when you have mapped out your life’s journey without living it, stand back. Give it time to be itself. Try to enjoy it. 

And when those thoughts, the ones you’re pushing down and away.. When. They return. Invite them in. Don’t fear them. Embrace them.