Recently I wrote and had lots of questions about what it means to love and be in love. And last night, speaking to a dear friend of mine, we got into the conversation of relationships… and in the conversation some ideas blossomed that I feel compelled to share.
As you grow up, you have a picture in your head of what your mate will be like. It may be phsyical, or the career path he/she will lead, perhaps some key character traits… and eventually this template, this mold, this… limited thought is created. It’s limited because now you have made something that someone can’t and shouldn’t fit. It’s limited because it’s only a small part of the experience of being in a relationship. It’s limited because it’s already making a decision without ever asking your heart.
Your heart and head aren’t always on the same page… and what you’ll find is your heart is always right, but your head works hard to challenge it.
I am wonderfully appreciative of the person in my life that doesn’t fit the mold. I see him as someone that has taught me this incredibly important lesson. My heart knows that he is gentle, and authentic. He is caring, and sensitive. He is stubborn and still willing to grow. He is imaginative and thorough. He is handsome and witty. He is real and always changing. This isn’t in my head, this is the feeling in my heart. See? It’s different.
When people say “I knew he/she was the one as soon as I met him/her,” to me it says you let your head lead and not your heart. Because what you find out in your heart comes from unraveling this dynamic and complex person. It takes time and experience. It never stops being exciting because this person experiments with life’s challenges and seeks growth.
Find appreciation for the time spent with this person. The moments collect. Some incredible, heart-racing, relaxed, unsure, scary, beautiful, difficult moments all come together and challenge your mind back. Your heart will win if you let it.
See your partner from your heart. See your friends from your heart. See your family from your heart. Live your life from the heart. Don’t make a decision in your mind. It’s a ploy, it’s a detour, it’s a cycle of analytical and ration. Oh Dear, your heart is much more exciting than that.