Monthly Archives: December 2012



Recently I wrote and had lots of questions about what it means to love and be in love. And last night, speaking to a dear friend of mine, we got into the conversation of relationships… and in the conversation some ideas blossomed that I feel compelled to share.

As you grow up, you have a picture in your head of what your mate will be like. It may be phsyical, or the career path he/she will lead, perhaps some key character traits… and eventually this template, this mold, this… limited thought is created. It’s limited because now you have made something that someone can’t and shouldn’t fit. It’s limited because it’s only a small part of the experience of being in a relationship. It’s limited because it’s already making a decision without ever asking your heart.

Your heart and head aren’t always on the same page… and what you’ll find is your heart is always right, but your head works hard to challenge it.

I am wonderfully appreciative of the person in my life that doesn’t fit the mold. I see him as someone that has taught me this incredibly important lesson. My heart knows that he is gentle, and authentic. He is caring, and sensitive. He is stubborn and still willing to grow. He is imaginative and thorough. He is handsome and witty. He is real and always changing. This isn’t in my head, this is the feeling in my heart. See? It’s different.

When people say “I knew he/she was the one as soon as I met him/her,” to me it says you let your head lead and not your heart. Because what you find out in your heart comes from unraveling this dynamic and complex person. It takes time and experience. It never stops being exciting because this person experiments with life’s challenges and seeks growth.

Find appreciation for the time spent with this person. The moments collect. Some incredible, heart-racing, relaxed, unsure, scary, beautiful, difficult moments all come together and challenge your mind back. Your heart will win if you let it.

See your partner from your heart. See your friends from your heart. See your family from your heart. Live your life from the heart. Don’t make a decision in your mind. It’s a ploy, it’s a detour, it’s a cycle of analytical and ration. Oh Dear, your heart is much more exciting than that.


Be “good”


Believe that people are basically good: Because they are.

With that being said, people have choices. One of the most important choices in life is perspective. Are you going to see the good or are you going to see what’s difficult?

Most days I try to see the good. The good in the experience, the good in the person, the good in the circumstance. Have I had days where I could only see the struggle? Absolutely. Are there times in my day when I notice struggle and redirect? Yes. But I choose to believe that in an overall way… life is good and people are good.

Life is so much richer and so much more full when you turn the lens to positive. Just today I was feeling lethargic, and my lesson was a bit dry… The student’s were bored, heck, I was bored.. pronouns can’t be exciting for 2 whole weeks… But during my lunch period I decided to go into another classroom. I sat at a round table with a student who is severly delayed. A beautiful human being with challenges to choose the right word, challenges to articulate needs.. and it woke me from the struggle perspective. We sat side by side, both of us with our own struggles, and found joy in eachother.

We all have struggle. The question isn’t about having struggle, it’s about how you choose to look at that challenge. Everyday can’t be your best, understand that.. give yourself the moment to let whatever it is.. go and with begin again, in a new way.. a way to see the good.

Our struggles differ and we compare ourselves or our battles with anothers: you are uniquely creating and manifesting this life. Be willing to gently look at your struggles, without judgement. But remind yourself that there is good. These hurdles, or negative feelings.. they have a reason… and the good will eventually seep through. You will find the sparkle. You deserve the good. You deserve to live life in a way that is enriching, that is enlightening, that is inspiring… You are a human being that is inherently good. Make the choice to live “good.”



Risk feeling alive


Don’t let life get stagnant. Going through the motions is no way to live.

If you look around and life looks comfortable, I will dare you to take a risk. Risk looking vulnerable; risk doing something that makes you feel weird… Risk it because in risking, we grow, and in growing we live.

Talking with a sister of mine, she mentioned just needing a minute, wanting a breath, to reset and get the feeling back, but as I sit longer with the idea of what life is, the moments I have felt most alive have been the times I was willing to do something that made me incredibly uncomfortable.

It doesn’t need to be a world changing event. For some it may be as simple as choosing a different loaf of bread to make sammy’s with… Maybe going to a new restaurant.. Or joining a new club, reading a different genre- but when we risk failure, when we risk being disappointed… We learn what it means to be alive.

In our days we may find patterns. We wake up at the same time each morning, we drive the same roads, we say the same things, we may even forget what our days are complied of because they all blur together like headlights in traffic. But we can challenge life’s habitual ways. We can encourage ourselves to take the leap and risk, which isn’t common for us.

Lets break out and really live. Lets ask ourselves to continue growth, to continue risks, to continue to fail… Because you’ll eventually reflect on your life’s endeavors.. Those moments that collect so quickly into a lifetime… And you’ll remember the times when you felt so alive.

Jump out of a plane, try coffee black, volunteer downtown, mingle with a group of people you normally wouldn’t, go to the movies alone, stop and get lost in a painting at the art museum, try on some funky shoes, smile at every person you see, go bowling, risk feeling weird.. And then smile at yourself and remember that it’s all about feeling alive- there is no time like the present moment. So go along now; I can hardly contain my excitement for you!

You are valuable


“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive—to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
~ Marcus Aurelius

Do you believe your life is valuable?

Sometimes we forget to find the value in ourselves. We believe it is most necessary to have value outside of ourselves, a large home, a well taken care of family, but we don’t put the emphasis on what we should value, ourselves.

The journey on this earth is full of uncertainties. We are bound by our lack of control in the outside realm. Losing a job, a loved one, a home, a friend.. We must surrender to the world’s movement… But in the meantime make sure to value your existence. Don’t get sidetracked and forget that taking care of yourself, your body, your mind, your soul, this is precious living.

It need not be a huge luxury, like a new car, but rather a simple and regular reminder of your value as a soul in this world. Maybe this for you is a trip to get ice cream. Or a slow walk. A small bouquet of fresh flowers, or clean sheets. But remind yourself daily, when you wake up, or during lunch, or before you get to sleep at night … You’re here now. Your reality is that we don’t know how long we have or when things will change. So find it in the here, the now, this moment to embrace yourself and see yourself as valuable. You are a soul here with reason and intention. You are full of light and love. You have worth and you are uniquely your own.