Have you ever had a moment that felt so pure and real.. like the inside of your chest created space to hold that moment? Your throat started to close up a bit and you found yourself in a moment that felt purely authentic?
That’s an open heart. A moment when you could literally feel the inside open.. and the rest of your body can’t seem to function the same. It just stops everything else and allows your heart to have that moment. To have an open heart in those moments means you are able to receive.. You create an open channel for that second.. and although the feeling can’t be kept.. it can be remembered.
Through our lives we have moments when your heart is peeled open and the sensation that comes with it is undescribable. Some of these experiences are so full of joy, while others sadness ensues.. but all of them expand our hearts.
Over the last few days I have found myself in these moments. I went to my Grandpa’s sisters funeral. My Mom told me that Geraldine.. “Jerry” had passed away. I went with my Mom to support my Grandpa, since I didn’t really know Jerry.. just had heard her name.. I knew she was a great quilter.. And while my Mom grabbed some napkins from the car ” just in case” I decided that this funeral was just my support for my Grandfather.. and wouldn’t be emotional for me. I’m glad my Mom had the wits.. As soon as the procession began, I cried. I cried through the first song’s entirety as this beautiful and imperfect quilt was draped over the coffin. I cried because I felt her family’s sense of loss. I cried because I knew my strong and patriarchal Grandpa was a soft towel barely holding on… I cried for all of my losses in life.. I cried. And cried. And my heart opened..
I resisted at first.. not emotional for me. just another service. And then I wept. My heart peeling open. pure. raw.
A lover of animals, It pains me enough to peel open that heart of mine when I see them struggle. A deer on a run had been clipped on the leg… upon further research.. most deer who have broken a limb will not make it. A helpless cat on the edge of the highway.. struggling to meow. These moments are so incredibly painful for me.. they rip open this heart and ask for a place inside.. I resist.. but I must let it in. These are the moments that keep our eyes open. These are the moments that intensify our lives. These are the moments that remind us to show compassion.. and to live compassion.
It may be the birth of your child, or your mother stroking your head before bed.. but these moments exist in each of our lives. They let us remember that we have the capacity to open our hearts. Keep them open. Receive and remember.
We have endless love..