I have a beautiful family. I have 2 amazing sisters, an unbelieveably deep mother, and a full of love and care father. Our family went through divorce when I was in 6th grade. Although young (11-12), the memory continues and at times asks the question of “What if?”
With that being said, holidays can be sticky. I want to see my Mom and Dad and family members, and boyfriend, and his family etc; however, the time ticks away many times leaving the feeling of guilt. Should have gone there, should have called. etc…
Yesterday we revisited an old place. My sisters and Nick and myself jumped in the car and scooted our way to an old cottage community where we spent many summer moments growing up. The traditional community has been a heartfelt place and it was a difficult separation when we no longer had a cottage. Yesterday, though, we went and enjoyed the beach and Lake Erie at its finest. We watched the parade and had some ice cream snacks and mid way through the day we all went with our gut and instead of staying for the night, we left. We came back to home base and relaxed the holiday’s afternoon and evening away, not even seeing fireworks.
A year ago, or even six months ago, this would have felt like a let down for me. The attachment of this special place, not seeing EVERY member of the family, not making my own parade. But maybe because of my trip, or maybe because I’m a year older, I didn’t feel sad. I sat in discomfort for moments at a time, but I embraced with open arms. I allowed it to pass through me like a wave passing. And it did pass. The evening was spent with friends and Nick.. enjoying the comfort of Air Conditioning and blankets..
And it was perfect in its moment. It felt right and listening to these bodies, minds, moments, feelings, energy is so important.
When you get those feelings, don’t jump on those feelings, just listen to them. Sit in them. Embrace them with open arms. Your soul is so powerful, give it a chance to just BE.